Wednesday, February 13, 2008


I had an interesting thing today while driving.
I was driving towards Camrose and I wouldn't call it an urge, but I didn't really have any natural desire to keep myself alive (you know that natural instinct they call self preservation) well, for a few minutes I didn't have that and I started thinking about heaven, and what it will be like and what an awesome thing it would be if I was there right now. It was cool, until I thought that God probably wouldn't condone me driving into a semi. So I didn't, needless to say. The coolest thing however is that when I was thinking about being dead, I couldn't imagine it, I couldn't grasp not existing. Yes, it was weird to have absolutely no point of reference concerning a certain thing, feeling or experience. Very strange. However I must say that not being restrained by our instinct to preserve ourselves is quite freeing, but I wouldn't like to feel it too often. Of course I'm not suicidal, I just ponder things and try to experience what they might be like without actually doing it. You know, pondering, wondering...