Monday, April 21, 2008

Stubborn to Move

In the arms of my lover I rest.
Safe and secure I rest today
I have found significance.

My mind wrapped up in you.
Yet you find it better to love
and not think about those things.

Though I sit here wishing to know
why you love me the way that you do.
Sit down and help me understand.

Beckon me, beckon me to sit with you
to be with you and know you
to love you and follow you.

But here I still sit
waiting for you to sit down
and explain to me why you love.

Like the Israelites I sit and wait,
like Icarus I fly to high,
missing the point of life.

Right in front of my eyes.

The Spirit

O how we chant
how we follow the law
to every letter, syllable.

We are the collective
a depressed collective
a legalistic collective.

We do not think
we thought
we blend.

But the joy of the Lord

We are not afraid
we sing and we shout
we are humble but bold
we are not deadly similar
we are an exciting community
we are shouts of joy and songs or praise
we are a fire, bright, alive, and contagious.


to be read quickly, aloud with intensity.

Come away
with me, lets go
adventure awaits
God is coming
to journey with us
to be filled with joy
and answer His call.

Take care
take care to hear
don't miss it
don't sleep through it
wake, wake up
He is here, now
come, come away.

Enter the gates
into His citadel
lets go now, today
fly and leap together
into His presence.
Away from this mirth
through the gates
into His embrace.

We are going now
up to His house
do not stay
do not stray
He is coming
and we are going
let us fly away.

Come now, go now
away to that place
don't forget where
you are going
and where you came.
Go now to His place
now to His presence.

Don't look, not away
keep your focus
keep your fervor
follow in trust
look on in earnest
never forget where
you go, and came from
go now, follow now.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Sleeping Rain Drops

The thoughts in my head
slowly, fading away into the night.
My desires are becoming foggy.
My eyes are closing.

A slow musical piece
dripping in the background.
A slow pitter patter
on the window.
It is calling me to bed
waiting patiently for me to surrender
to it's deep soothingly mysterious calls.
To bed, to sleep, to bed, to sleep, bed, sleep.

The lights are dimly glowing
street lights casting through the shades.
Sitting with your friends
deep into the night
making quiet conversations
love and fantasy intertwine to transcending tales.

The rain is starting to fall now
it begins with a drip and a tap
on the window it makes those sounds.
Quiet at first, but turning into a droll
until so quietly absorbed
the conversation fails into a contented silence.

The thoughts are there
the words are lost
to those drips and drops that coax
the soul to quietness.
Thoughts of trust, love, beauty and hope
the silent words persist in their minds
till sleep takes them.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

The power of words

The power of words.

He who controls the past controls the present.

In the middle east there is a museum that disproves the holocaust.

People say and write that Christ didn't die on the cross, nor did He rise from the dead.

If I can control the past, then I can say and prove anything I wish, I can say the Jews were never in the middle east, I can say Hitler was a reformer who was right in his thinking because I want him to be right.

The book 1984 is a perfect example of this. Those who haven't read it probably should.

In this day and age comic books are becoming literature, why, because it is written down... In our politically correct new age thinking, what I have written is literature. If it is literature I can then quote it in a thesis statement and use it to no end to prove anything I wish. Of course this is ridiculing our post modern age, but there are serious flaws in it. The problem is that I can quote and use anything said by anyone to prove anything. I write a book about Christ and how he lived in a place and married a person, millions read it, and people believe it. Problems with this is that the book I wrote was completely fictional, and if the doubting people actually took the time to research all the facts used in it they would come to realize that the book is seriously flawed, mainly with its proofs. The reality is that the book being fictional was sold as fact and scientific, and the people selling it knew that it was fictional, but they aren't interested in being correct, they were interested in making a mess in the Christian world, and they were allowed to because of this stupid politically correct world of ours.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Giving Up On Love

Lately I have been thinking about love and how it seems I'm not getting any. Not to say I am not, but as Erwin McManus says "When you give up on love, everything else seems to go with it, joy, hope, forgiveness, compassion, they're all interconnected". Over the last few days it seemed like I gave up on love myself. I would look into my heart and see absolutely nothing, blank.
A dark and empty void.

Today I wrote this in my journal.

I say I love, but my heart is
a devious thing, it plans evil
and works toward getting its
own ends. Alone it would
kill itself, but people do
surround it and it sets
itself upon them
working to kill
all who do
not go

To end it now, would cause God less pain, and by doing that would I, could I, be accepted into His Kingdom? No of course not, it is pure foolishness to think this way because we don't understand the huge limitless love that God has for us, I wonder how much pain he feels when we believe that He does not love us because we hurt Him so much. "It may be hard to accept, but you are the object of God's love"E M.

Amazing to think of all the pain we cause God, yet He still loves us. Is it not a strange mystery, to hate God, who loves you dearly, who died for us, and who carries on into eternity with those who would love Him and follow Him. To the place He has created for us. Strange is it not?

Yet here I sit, following Him
to that strange land.

Whom have I but you?

Whom have I but you?

Whom have I but you?

Though the mountains fall,
they fall into the sea.

Whom have I but you?

Wednesday, February 13, 2008


I had an interesting thing today while driving.
I was driving towards Camrose and I wouldn't call it an urge, but I didn't really have any natural desire to keep myself alive (you know that natural instinct they call self preservation) well, for a few minutes I didn't have that and I started thinking about heaven, and what it will be like and what an awesome thing it would be if I was there right now. It was cool, until I thought that God probably wouldn't condone me driving into a semi. So I didn't, needless to say. The coolest thing however is that when I was thinking about being dead, I couldn't imagine it, I couldn't grasp not existing. Yes, it was weird to have absolutely no point of reference concerning a certain thing, feeling or experience. Very strange. However I must say that not being restrained by our instinct to preserve ourselves is quite freeing, but I wouldn't like to feel it too often. Of course I'm not suicidal, I just ponder things and try to experience what they might be like without actually doing it. You know, pondering, wondering...

Sunday, January 27, 2008


Often I wonder about love, many have said love is the one thing that can not be understood, yet I feel as if we refuse to understand it, not that we can't.
I say we can, we can understand love to such a degree, as to shrug it off and leave it for the birds.
That would be my scientific side talking, yes we know it's chemicals, and it's great for health.

Yet, I say we can never understand love, because Love is an attribute of God, and people can never fully understand God, not in this life, so it seems as if we are at a loss. 1 Corinthians 13 is fantastic in telling what love is. Yet we still struggle with this idea of love.
Is love that fuzzy feeling newlyweds have?
or the love of a father or mother to their son or daughter?
is it the love of a brother?
or the love of a grandma?
is it the feeling when children delight us in being good?
or the feeling we have for the boy in grade 9?
is it the feelings we have for God?
if all these things are love, then Love must be pretty broad, and if love is pretty broad then it is probably pretty specifically a general feeling we have for people if we get to know them. I would hazard a guess that if people would know each other more then there would be more love.
I wonder if love is not only for God, and then there is a special trickle down effect, of loving Gods creation, and people love other people the most because we are all the crown of Gods creations and the only beings on this planet made in His image.

Still what really is love?
Honestly can anyone know?


Do you hear that?
deep in our minds he speaks
Can you hear him?
whispering on the wind

Shh, can you hear him?
As clear as the dawn
he is in my mind
Satan is tempting us

It is quiet tonight
perhaps he is gone
but I lay my head
in on the breeze they come

Floating in my mind
rationalized reasonableness
a twist here, there
melting into transparent

He is in my mind
enticed, a cool breeze
action, dawn turned red
the sky set ablaze in fire

Turn away from it
intensity of the Son
my own heart turned away
to death and decay

he is in my mind
do you hear that?
Satan is tempting us
he is in my mind

Sunday, January 20, 2008


I had a dream this morning, and rarely do I dream to such and extent and then remember the whole thing. I kind of think it is God talking to me but I'm not what He is saying to me yet.

It was set in the tropics, on an island, and it is kind of magical, many of these things I left out because they are irrelevant and probably a cause of my personality. There are three friends, they are all like brothers and sisters together. Two guys and a girl. I'll name them Fred, Gena, and Dave. Both Fred and Dave like Gena, and Gena knows this, in fact Fred knew this too. However they, Fred and Gena, kept this quiet and Dave never knew. Dave finds out later... Fred and Gena start to meet together alone during the early mornings and late nights, and it was always at this special tree that hung over the ocean, very beautiful. One night the two of them are having a good time talking and the like, and Fred pulls out a beautiful ring made of silver and having emeralds set in it, in rings. So it looked like a ring which had a small tower likeness on top of it, and that tiny tower, which was very short, had a roof like a Muslim mosque and that roof also was like a very small ring itself. Now this whole ring was set with circles of emeralds around it. With the giving of that ring Fred Promises to never stop loving Gena. Now Fred and Gena had both very rich and powerful fathers, and neither liked the idea of those two being in love, because parents find it very easy to read their children. So the two fathers rip the tree out of the ground and let it fall into the ocean, yet the tree never lost its leaves and shone in the water from the sun light, a problem with this was that Gena hid the ring in that tree. The next night Fred and Gena plan to leave, Fred's father has just found the ring missing and is furious, while Gena's father is planning on sending her away. Thus Fred and Gena leave for a few years, leaving Dave with the realization that Gena loved Fred, and that Fred also loved Gena, He is terribly distraught and driven into a terrible state of lonlyness. A few years later Fred and Gena return to their island home without the letting other people know. Gena always wanting to come back home and see her father again, and Fred planning on getting the ring back to Gena, although he had made a replacement ring which wasn't at all nice. The two were sitting by the ocean right in front of the fallen tree and Fred knowing it was time asked for the ring back, Gena looked astonished at him yet he gave no explanation to it, Fred just asked for the ring again, so Gena gave it to him. In a few moments there was a huge wave and it poured right over Gena and Fred. Gena was just as astonished to find that in her hand was a ring which she had long forgotten and with that ring came memories, memories from long ago. She was overwhelmed, so much in fact that Gena turned around and saw, Dave, a much older Dave to be exact. He said that he had to talk to her and about something serious. Dave told Gena that he loved her, and that He could not be without her, though many years had passed he had never forgotten her and had loved no one else since. Needless to say Gena ran away.

That was when I woke up, and I knew I fit in that story, I think I'm Fred, because I saw things sometimes from his perspective, literally. What I don't know is where Gena ran off. What happened next, and what I'm supposed to get out of this. Yet I do know that even after years it was extremely difficult for her to make a choice between the two.

I often wonder about hearts and how they can get mixed up in things and how we can get hurt so easily by trivial things. We need to be careful where we put our hearts and what we do with them. I have been a slave to the idea of love, to the desire to be in love for a long time, I can hardly remember a moment that I did not have a crush on someone. And these were not small either often lasting for years, many years.
I think I can conclude that I really do believe that God talks to us in many ways, sometimes strange ways too.