Thursday, December 21, 2006

life love christ-mass

This season seems to be such a cop-out, I don't even want to know how it got like this, but tomorrow Canadians are supposed to spend 2 billion dollars and 7.5 million of them will be shopping...

Time, doesn't anyone have the time right now? Why do we spend our days building cash flow and getting stuff? Don't we have anything else better to do?

But wait isn't life all about getting stuff and having fun? Isn't the pursuit of happiness the gift of God, to us, for our pleasure, and were supposed to just have fun.

I hate this season and I love it at the same time.... don't you?

So, with that Merry Christ-mass
lets keep it like that, and really focus on the meaning.

Monday, December 11, 2006

Making sense of Hell and Gods 'judgment'.

When faced with Eternity what do you do?
I found myself just thinking about hell today, not only because we were covering it in class but because, it's just something I spend time to think about. I'm going to try and show how God in the Christian sense can be thought of as good, yet still have people going to Hell. I find it interesting when people talk about God being bad because he sends people to Hell. Have they ever thought about it for a long time? have they really even entertained the thought? or is it some push over reason to say no to God, any Christians who are pushy bigots 7/8Th's of the time. But we need to look at this question, is God good? Does he send us to Hell? The worlds view of hell is a fiery vast place where your burned forever in torment. The thing to remember here is that throughout the bible fire is used as a symbol for judgment. Most people when talking about Hell view it as a place where people are sent to be punished for their wrong deeds, or are forced to go. The Christian view that I understand is that we are not forced to go at all, and if there is any choosing of where were going, it's up to us. Let us presume the teachings of the bible, God is purely good, and only good, he can not tolerate evil in the least. Lets take me, i've sinned, and I still view myself as a good person, but God can't be with me. If I walk around saying I hate Gordon, he's an ass, do you think gordon will want to be my friend? No of course not, and it's the same with me, even if God views me as a fairly good person, i'm still going around half the time saying I hate God (this is why we try to sin less so we say I HATE God less) and his desire for me to be perfect, but, I do have the ability to be perfect. Yet, I'm not perfect. However God will forgive all that, isn't it interesting. There is only one unforgivable sin, and that is blaspheming against the spirit. Or in normal language, not accepting God (which includes Jesus[but how can you acknowledge someone if you have never heard of him? God judges us on our knowledge of him, He is in nature too.]) for who he is... Hell is separation from God, and that is only because we reject him. So he honors our choice and lets us leave him. Of course I believe this is the absolute worst thing that there ever could be, but to those who don't like God, it's not so bad right. It is after all only getting what we want right? Some people believe that God eventually turns around and accepts everyone. well I don't think this is right, manly because it's not giving the people what they want, which is what God promised us. Let us suppose that God loves us, now in human terms sometimes loving someone means letting them do harm to themselves. Normally this is to teach themselves a lesson and is controlled. But God is love, were not perfect at all. Gods love is pure, that means he loves us with an inconceivable amount of love which never ends, so when God gave us a choice he loved us so much as to let us actually make it. Not just make it and then have Him turn around and stop us from choosing the "wrong" one. He loves us so much as to respect our choice even if it means our destruction or painful death in the dessert or by flames or anything. He promised to give us a choice and he will carry our choice out for us. But don't just think that, God loves us, and so to send us away to hell is probably harder on him then us seeing that he knows everything about us and loves us. Isn't that something crazy?
But, truly amazing!
Perhaps I sound a little lovy dovy, perfect fuzziness, cute God, but I am deathly scared of Hell. I'm just trying to explain this so God is seen as loving, not some tyrant, but who's going to say to God, you can't do ____ to me! What right do we have to say that? And, what less do we deserve but Hell.
God's one thing for us is to love him, recognize his presence, and to become a friend... more then a friend, a lover, and being who is to join in perfect unity and companionship forever.

Monday, December 4, 2006


The worst of any and all things

Bringing loneliness, desperation

O The questions filling our souls,

where do we or any belong here

Damned to flames of destruction

Our hearts to experience,

a very worst of anything

Release found in suicide

No longer needing to feel

Suicide of our many hearts

Crying out into empty space

To never feel, kill one thing

The only thing that is true

That will truly ever matter

Damned to the flames of destruction

Our heart’s being burnt forever ever

The scar left over never truly healing

Damned to the flames of destruction

We imprisoned our own souls

The flames that burn we feed

With our hatred they’ll grow

Our souls, screaming children

Shouting, shrieking, bawling

Horror of our own deeds

Our friends turning away

Off to torture their owns

Brevity is our life of pain

Can we ever in all the world

know why we commit suicide

Hangings of our own souls

Murder of our own hearts

Suicide of one importance.

Over the distances fathom

A great truth of immensity

Kill our souls for numbness

Lack of feeling, shuffle on

Without sensation we can’t focus

No longer must we search for it

An answer, simple without feeling

We get to fall back into the bliss

Making the decision of indecision

That will never save us

Nor will it save our souls

We do meet death finally

With killing, child within

Hate filling our large hole

What shall we say to Him

We will fall we can’t stand

Only souls left in the end

Experiencing what we did

If we did never kill

What would we know

Would life continue

We to be one with him

Sunday, December 3, 2006

meant to be sent

This, my life, a hollow end to nothing.
empty, my soul, air does not fill me up
At a loss, I cry out, words on the winds
seems they to carry my thoughts away
not where they were meant to be sent.

  1. Breath slowly,
  2. take air in,
  3. let it out.
  4. control your thoughts, emotions.
  5. breath in again,
  6. focus your thoughts, emotions,
  7. breath out.
  8. be at peace.

sailing on the wind, powerful feelings surround.
bright sunshine on my face, who cares of me?
A pen in air, writing your thoughts, only good
Beauties come from that pen on to the papers.
sky blue, grass green, palms, birds, butterflies.
turning there are dark clouds,death, judgment
there is a wind and the hateful evil stack whisks.
fire quickly consumes them and beauty returns
where are the good papers, they also are gone.
a voice on the winds calling to me to listen to it.

these stacks do not matter,if they had you would die.
mostly from all the grief, but that's besides the point.
what really matters is how you had responded to him
the one who controls that pen, paper, wind, and fire.
The one who may or may no be your best friend.

It's not about sides, Don't we get it yet?

When we look at this world what do we see? Beauty love compassion peace good stillness, lust anger greed war hate evil. When we look at this world what do we see? Do you see what I see, do you see love hope evil yet good coming after, death but life at the same time. Or do you see death with no end, hate with no end, life that ends without hope, science that points to nothing that matters, desperation of men trying to fix their spot in heaven?
When I see that world, I see the life in it as under an evil spell, which some day will be lifted and revealed to be the effect of all our evil deeds. I see a purpose in life not just to live right but to live right because you personally know who created this world. I don't live doing good things to prove any worthiness to some god so he will accept me, what kind of god would ever want to do that anyway, would you? I do good because I know Him, and what a blessing it is to do good. When I see death I see enlightenment of a soul burdened with hate and love in the same heart, and whether that heart bears love or hate for Him determines where that soul will go. But here's the thing, God does not punish us for our sins, the "judgement" we get is our own decision, and we either have chosen to love God and his ways or hate God and his ways. If we hate God, then we don't want to be with him, and that is what Hell is, simply the separation of our souls from God. Let us remember that. God only carries out our choices, and that is with Great saddness in his big heart.

years and probabilities

In eternity we find the existence of a speck, some turtles, or a god. Now here's the question. If we believe in a speck, we must have faith in it's forever existence. You also have to know that a simple cell is made up of at least 600 proteins, and a simple protein is made up of 100 amino acids. The time it would take to create one simple protein in a primordial soup on earth would be 15 billion X 10 to the power of 60, which equals 1.5 with 70 zero's behind it, or 15000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. But here's the real crunch, thats just one protein, you need at least 599 more and then they have to somehow fit into the right places. The true probabilities are in truth, much more then what scientists call impossible.

If there is a God, you can do away of all those numbers because with a divine power numbers mean nothing. At least when you have a god who created everything you don't have to believe in something that existed all by it'self for eternity and then believe that by chance we became who we are by mutations of the slightest degree over time.