Tuesday, January 23, 2007

A picture of "sin"

I want to take a minute and talk about sin. Just a minute of your time please, it'll only be short, possibly long, and probably a devastating


Who said that? Who said that unmentionable word? Why would anyone ever want to know about this, we've all made up our minds as to what it means!

So, to be honest, what are we doing? Why do we ever need to mention the word sin?
The world wrote that off a while ago as a myth, the church never mentions it, they're trying to forget about it by focusing on the 'Joy of the Lord' or cute things like 'God loves you' maybe something like ' he'll save you, and forgive you'. Were weeding it out of our christian culture and replacing it with fluffy things.

I'm not here to poke holes in the church, there is a lot wrong with the church, but we can get by without making the holes any bigger. They're already there.

sin is an interesting thing, how often do we think about it? The world as I said doesn't believe in it, teachers are taught that kids aren't in essence evil, but are completely good, and are little flowers ready to blossom...

First of all kids are inherently evil, and the normally are already manipulating their parents before they even start to talk. That's for sure.

We know two things, sin is wrong, and we are prideful. We, being prideful, view ourselves as better then others, or even God. That's how we got selfish.
Sin is the idea that we do things against Gods Will. His Will is the actual one truth for our lives, the only proper way to live, the best way to live. Best because it is the most Joy-filled, friendship and love orientated life. People can only find real purpose in life by creating something that lasts and has influence. Friendship and love are the highest forms of these.
So sin really is saying that God doesn't want the best for us, and we need to find our own way, a better way, a way God never thought of... So sin is rejection of God, and his ways, which of course really should be our ways. So really pride is sin, and sins roots lie in our own pride.

Here's an interesting thing. We as human beings have needs, God created us with desires of purity, and our needs are right Noble and proper, God made us with them. So sin is the action of trying to fill our Noble and right needs with our own models of fixes to these needs. Putting a box in a circle... It kind of fits, and works for a little while, but never actually covers sufficient area of the circle. So we find a better shape, maybe an octagon, (traveling deeper in sin) it almost fits right, but still not quite. So we go through our lives trying to find our own circles that fit right, but we never do because nothing is exactly the right shape. Oh we can get close, we can get real close, close enough to feel great. Subbing God for Love is a good one, we can go through our whole lives feeling almost prefect.... So that means that sin is the search for right things or ways, but using the wrong methods.
We move through our lives looking for happiness, actually looking for joy, but never truly finding it. Our own devices give us happiness, which eventually goes away. But were looking for Joy, and joy is a little like happiness because it gives us enjoyment, but also gratification that we found the perfect shape that fits in the right way.
So Christians lose their joy when they sin and become separated from God, they take out the circle and put in a heptagon. After a while a feeling of emptiness arises, and they normally repent ( ask forgiveness for their deeds and express desire to be back with God) and put the circle back in. Filling them up again to full... They become separated from God, because they tell him to go away, they have a better way. Rejecting Him.

So we look for better ways even though there are none, while always saying we have the right way to live. Sin is a twisted form of truth, made a little different by us, that truth is a genuine and very right desire, but perverted.
Lets try to remember that when people ask us about dieing children in Africa, don't respond, they sinned, they deserve death (which is true). Even though it's true, it'll be taken very badly, normally because the people around us don't believe in God and find sin to be a myth of the last centuries, and it doesn't sound very caring of other people.
So we deserve death? Of course we do, but the only reason is because were sentencing ourselves to death.
Lets remember these things.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Gods pain.

Life is a strange thing, why is it so simple, so complicated and normal all at the same time?

Recently I have been thinking about emotional scars. I was just reminded of one that I have a few days ago. And it hit me. Wow God is amazing.
We give each other pain by using, abusing, fighting, betraying etc. These hurts don't go away, and when they heal, they never heal properly, they still show what had happened and those scars can stay for a long time. Years and years after the event. But over time they heal properly, normally, not always. We hurt from these, and they change the way we act around others, we don't want to get more hurt, we have enough to deal with. Here's the interesting thing, rejection and betrayal are the worst, they did like you, but now they don't, or they did like you, but your not good enough now. Simply put they go deep, deeper then most things ever go, and can change your life forever. Sometimes, when someone rejects you, you get mad, and lash out, maybe not, maybe we plan to destroy and hurt back. Maybe we just harbor grudges against them for the rest of our lives. Not with God.
Isn't it amazing that God; steps out, lays out his heart for us, creates us, and loves us, gives us that choice of loving him, then we step away, tell him he's not enough, and run away with is heart. We constantly hurt God, Were hurting him right now, were wishing for the Iphone instead of his love, or were planing how to get a girl instead of asking Gods will. All we mostly seem to do is sidestep God, and carry on. Yet he doesn't lash out, he doesn't take back his heart and wipe us out. He sent His Son, we killed him. He sent his creation, were destroying it. He sent us his friendship, we ate the apple. He created us, we killing ourselves. And it's all a statment of rejection against God, were stabbing him, and we keep pushing the sword deeper. No we won't stop, because were short-term minded stupid people.
Were prideful, enjoyment seeking, selfish beings who should all be burned forever by God's wrath.

We deserve supernatural spite,
were never getting that at all,
instead we'll take a sip of sprite.
Then watch Jill practise bBall.

Were terrible people, but sinners covered by grace some how look like good people who do good things. Thanks be to God for his lacking of Justice, and excess of grace.

Thursday, January 4, 2007


today ?

today ?

Where is that good old desire...

Why do people say that life is unfair, what gives them that idea?
People have said that life is a strange thing, now that is of course true, but why?
Why is life strange? why is desire for fairness strange or weird?

Isn't it weird that trees grow up instead of out?
And that beaches are really just fish pooh?

Isn't it weird that some trees grow flowers and some don't?
Or why they do at all... And why do most plants grow flowers?

Why don't we ever ponder these things? Sure, we know plants make flowers so bees come, but which came first the plant or the bee? Which plant suddenly decided to make flowers, and which bee became the first to inspect a flower for food? When did that food start to be produced for the bees?

I'm just saying, sure we know the science of these things, we know how they work. Great, so now we can use them, but knowing what something does never really truly explains it's own existence. Why is it here? The tree, for example is here to, well, be here, it has no real purpose, so why does it want to keep living? What gives it a desire to live that makes it fight off viruses and other things, or develop thorns over centuries? Does it feel pain? If not, why? If it does, that's terrible.

So where does desire come from?

No matter how much we may believe in evolution or not, there is no place in it for the creation of desire, neither the desire for food, or the desire for sleep, or the desire of anything, even the desire for life. We must remember that the desire to stay alive must have been present in the very first cell, otherwise it would not stay alive. To desire to keep on living can't be created by evolution. The cell wanting to stay alive would be a decision of conciousness, that first cell would not feel concious, nor would it have a brain to even think about desire. Seeing that pain is the response of our bodies to protect itself, which is in itself a desire, it is impossible to create. It is impossible for pain to exist, yet it does. A created machine can't have desire to keep itself from damage unless it is pre-programed to do it. and it can never create that because it has no ability to rationalize or think. The desire of self preservation is impossible to be self-created. Even a little program in a cell (the very beginnings of thought) can't be created because it would be useless for a long time before it did anything at all, and evolution is the slow advance by small steps, but all the steps have to be immediately useful each step... to that "yes or no" mechanism, for the beginnings of thought, would always be weeded out. Remember that it is a step by step thing, not a number of steps by a number of steps. so a thinking machine couldn't be created, only a thinking part, needing the rest of the machine to fully operate. Which means that the thinking part would be weeded out. Now, not only is it impossible to start wanting to live, but it is also impsooible to get a "brain" to even think about wanting to live.

What i'm trying to say is that desire to live can't be created by a being, a being can't be mutated to be able to desire anything, and that deisre really should not exist.
It all comes down to, what came before such and such. if desire is not created by us, or our so called ancestors, then where did it come from. The idea of desire is simple to us thinking beings, but try coming up with desire without the ability to think.

So where does desire come from?
Even the most simplest of desires?

Funny how a flower looks so pretty,

I'm sorry if you got lost in this, when I was working on it last night
half of it got deleted, so I had to try and tie my arguments back together with very little time on my hands.

Perhaps a weird thing like intelligence.

Wednesday, January 3, 2007


It seems like everyone reefers back to last year for some reason to bring out the new year. The funny thing is that I'm going to do it as well and even though everyone does I will too.

Last year took me through a lot, and half of that stuff was interesting. The other half was not worth anything. It seems that my life is split into three areas. sin, repentance and becoming right with God again. That's what last year was, just circle after circle of that, again and again. So, I'm going to say that last year was a year full or regret, tears, a few times of great joy, and monotony. There was also summer camp which was great.

Yes that was last year.

So why go on? I don't really expect anything very exciting to happen. so why go on?
I'm saved right. so I'm all good if something terrible happens to me and I die. To see God I need to die. Right?

So what keeps us all going?

I think other then the commandment for us to love others and live for God until our time comes there is no reason. Which kind of makes sense when there are so many people working hard to not think about the futility of their work or hobbies... And those that don't find something to keep their minds off it find that they are crazy or depressed. now these are big generalizations and they will stay like that because of course there are exceptions...
The only thing that keeps us going is the love of Jesus both for us and us for him.

I guess that's why we need to start our days and keep our focus on him all the time or we might get caught.