Sunday, January 27, 2008


Often I wonder about love, many have said love is the one thing that can not be understood, yet I feel as if we refuse to understand it, not that we can't.
I say we can, we can understand love to such a degree, as to shrug it off and leave it for the birds.
That would be my scientific side talking, yes we know it's chemicals, and it's great for health.

Yet, I say we can never understand love, because Love is an attribute of God, and people can never fully understand God, not in this life, so it seems as if we are at a loss. 1 Corinthians 13 is fantastic in telling what love is. Yet we still struggle with this idea of love.
Is love that fuzzy feeling newlyweds have?
or the love of a father or mother to their son or daughter?
is it the love of a brother?
or the love of a grandma?
is it the feeling when children delight us in being good?
or the feeling we have for the boy in grade 9?
is it the feelings we have for God?
if all these things are love, then Love must be pretty broad, and if love is pretty broad then it is probably pretty specifically a general feeling we have for people if we get to know them. I would hazard a guess that if people would know each other more then there would be more love.
I wonder if love is not only for God, and then there is a special trickle down effect, of loving Gods creation, and people love other people the most because we are all the crown of Gods creations and the only beings on this planet made in His image.

Still what really is love?
Honestly can anyone know?


Do you hear that?
deep in our minds he speaks
Can you hear him?
whispering on the wind

Shh, can you hear him?
As clear as the dawn
he is in my mind
Satan is tempting us

It is quiet tonight
perhaps he is gone
but I lay my head
in on the breeze they come

Floating in my mind
rationalized reasonableness
a twist here, there
melting into transparent

He is in my mind
enticed, a cool breeze
action, dawn turned red
the sky set ablaze in fire

Turn away from it
intensity of the Son
my own heart turned away
to death and decay

he is in my mind
do you hear that?
Satan is tempting us
he is in my mind

Sunday, January 20, 2008


I had a dream this morning, and rarely do I dream to such and extent and then remember the whole thing. I kind of think it is God talking to me but I'm not what He is saying to me yet.

It was set in the tropics, on an island, and it is kind of magical, many of these things I left out because they are irrelevant and probably a cause of my personality. There are three friends, they are all like brothers and sisters together. Two guys and a girl. I'll name them Fred, Gena, and Dave. Both Fred and Dave like Gena, and Gena knows this, in fact Fred knew this too. However they, Fred and Gena, kept this quiet and Dave never knew. Dave finds out later... Fred and Gena start to meet together alone during the early mornings and late nights, and it was always at this special tree that hung over the ocean, very beautiful. One night the two of them are having a good time talking and the like, and Fred pulls out a beautiful ring made of silver and having emeralds set in it, in rings. So it looked like a ring which had a small tower likeness on top of it, and that tiny tower, which was very short, had a roof like a Muslim mosque and that roof also was like a very small ring itself. Now this whole ring was set with circles of emeralds around it. With the giving of that ring Fred Promises to never stop loving Gena. Now Fred and Gena had both very rich and powerful fathers, and neither liked the idea of those two being in love, because parents find it very easy to read their children. So the two fathers rip the tree out of the ground and let it fall into the ocean, yet the tree never lost its leaves and shone in the water from the sun light, a problem with this was that Gena hid the ring in that tree. The next night Fred and Gena plan to leave, Fred's father has just found the ring missing and is furious, while Gena's father is planning on sending her away. Thus Fred and Gena leave for a few years, leaving Dave with the realization that Gena loved Fred, and that Fred also loved Gena, He is terribly distraught and driven into a terrible state of lonlyness. A few years later Fred and Gena return to their island home without the letting other people know. Gena always wanting to come back home and see her father again, and Fred planning on getting the ring back to Gena, although he had made a replacement ring which wasn't at all nice. The two were sitting by the ocean right in front of the fallen tree and Fred knowing it was time asked for the ring back, Gena looked astonished at him yet he gave no explanation to it, Fred just asked for the ring again, so Gena gave it to him. In a few moments there was a huge wave and it poured right over Gena and Fred. Gena was just as astonished to find that in her hand was a ring which she had long forgotten and with that ring came memories, memories from long ago. She was overwhelmed, so much in fact that Gena turned around and saw, Dave, a much older Dave to be exact. He said that he had to talk to her and about something serious. Dave told Gena that he loved her, and that He could not be without her, though many years had passed he had never forgotten her and had loved no one else since. Needless to say Gena ran away.

That was when I woke up, and I knew I fit in that story, I think I'm Fred, because I saw things sometimes from his perspective, literally. What I don't know is where Gena ran off. What happened next, and what I'm supposed to get out of this. Yet I do know that even after years it was extremely difficult for her to make a choice between the two.

I often wonder about hearts and how they can get mixed up in things and how we can get hurt so easily by trivial things. We need to be careful where we put our hearts and what we do with them. I have been a slave to the idea of love, to the desire to be in love for a long time, I can hardly remember a moment that I did not have a crush on someone. And these were not small either often lasting for years, many years.
I think I can conclude that I really do believe that God talks to us in many ways, sometimes strange ways too.