Saturday, May 5, 2007

cycle

Today was an interesting day.
Filled with sad things, happy things, breaking things and fixing things, buying and not buying.
A typical day off, completely on my own, and enjoying life's simple pleasures.
Typical even to the point of my sins. I did however have an interesting re-introduction to the ways the devil lies and deceives us.
Before I sinned today, I was conversing to the devil, or one of his many crafty employees. He was trying to convince me to do ___ and used a variety of methods to get me to do it. I hope most of us have experienced this, or I am an unfortunate soul. Anyways, as I was saying, the whole time I could see right through what the demon was saying, yet because he just got me thinking about it I did it. Horrible isn't it, they always need our willing consent before we do something wrong, they can't simply make us do it, they have to convince us to do it, promise satisfaction, happiness, peace, even joy. All we get in the end is an empty feeling, an addiction, disconectedness from God, and possibly the sting of guilt. Which is then used to torture us even more by those demons. Yes this horrible spiral of sin we seem to always be stuck in is horrible, yet contemplatively interesting. As interesting as thinking about how people "push the buttons" of their spouses, especially seeing that they have to live with them after the act. It's also as interesting as observing that a tourist is as much or more stressed during his vacation then before and after.
Yes, I love determination. It is sad however that we humans rarely see into the future long enough to recognise that sin will kill us and it's not worth anything at all because, it is all sub-standard and not comparable to the gratification of living a pure life with God. O how I wish that I looked into the future each time the devil was on my shoulder.

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