Giving Up On Love

Lately I have been thinking about love and how it seems I'm not getting any. Not to say I am not, but as Erwin McManus says "When you give up on love, everything else seems to go with it, joy, hope, forgiveness, compassion, they're all interconnected". Over the last few days it seemed like I gave up on love myself. I would look into my heart and see absolutely nothing, blank.
A dark and empty void.

Today I wrote this in my journal.

I say I love, but my heart is
a devious thing, it plans evil
and works toward getting its
own ends. Alone it would
kill itself, but people do
surround it and it sets
itself upon them
working to kill
all who do
not go
with
it.

To end it now, would cause God less pain, and by doing that would I, could I, be accepted into His Kingdom? No of course not, it is pure foolishness to think this way because we don't understand the huge limitless love that God has for us, I wonder how much pain he feels when we believe that He does not love us because we hurt Him so much. "It may be hard to accept, but you are the object of God's love"E M.

Amazing to think of all the pain we cause God, yet He still loves us. Is it not a strange mystery, to hate God, who loves you dearly, who died for us, and who carries on into eternity with those who would love Him and follow Him. To the place He has created for us. Strange is it not?

Yet here I sit, following Him
to that strange land.

Whom have I but you?

Whom have I but you?

Whom have I but you?

Though the mountains fall,
they fall into the sea.

Whom have I but you?